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Is this all there is?

I've been feeling a bit depressed this week... After all the fun of CanAm and IML, it's obvious that the return to the daily grind (a/k/a "RUT") is grinding a wear spot on my soul. I can physically feel it at times.

My life can be summed up in a 20-line computer programme, most of it being work and sleep. I bide my time and psych myself up for the exciting events coming up around the corner, but as the years pass by, it becomes evident that (regardless of where they are, or who's doing them), they are just summer re-runs of years gone by.

I don't know if my meds are simply failing me this week, or if it's the weather. I'm just tired of it all at times. If not for my friends & family, motorcycle, music and kites I feel like I serve no useful purpose to society at large.

Maybe I just need enlightenment? Or, maybe the truth is that this is all there is and you had better get used to it.

Maybe it's time to go for a nice long bike ride -- my form of Prozac. ;-)


Jun. 10th, 2004 06:47 pm (UTC)
HUGS. Another useful purpose you serve -- eye candy for some of us. :)

I think we all feel the same "rutness." I wrote about being in a rut as a high school senior -- god, 19 years ago -- and with only a few notable exceptions (coming out, moving to Boston, my first flogging...) it's pretty much the same thing. Even the big changes eventually become the new rut.

But I like to think there's enough movement within the rut to keep life interesting -- you just have to get more sensitive to the little wiggles.

I really want to be able to meet you face-to-face one of these days! I keep wanting to get to a Bear Happy Hour, but I'm such a homebody...

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