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Is this all there is?

I've been feeling a bit depressed this week... After all the fun of CanAm and IML, it's obvious that the return to the daily grind (a/k/a "RUT") is grinding a wear spot on my soul. I can physically feel it at times.

My life can be summed up in a 20-line computer programme, most of it being work and sleep. I bide my time and psych myself up for the exciting events coming up around the corner, but as the years pass by, it becomes evident that (regardless of where they are, or who's doing them), they are just summer re-runs of years gone by.

I don't know if my meds are simply failing me this week, or if it's the weather. I'm just tired of it all at times. If not for my friends & family, motorcycle, music and kites I feel like I serve no useful purpose to society at large.

Maybe I just need enlightenment? Or, maybe the truth is that this is all there is and you had better get used to it.

Maybe it's time to go for a nice long bike ride -- my form of Prozac. ;-)


( 5 comments — Leave a comment )
Jun. 10th, 2004 01:43 pm (UTC)
meds? drugs? do tell!
Jun. 10th, 2004 06:47 pm (UTC)
HUGS. Another useful purpose you serve -- eye candy for some of us. :)

I think we all feel the same "rutness." I wrote about being in a rut as a high school senior -- god, 19 years ago -- and with only a few notable exceptions (coming out, moving to Boston, my first flogging...) it's pretty much the same thing. Even the big changes eventually become the new rut.

But I like to think there's enough movement within the rut to keep life interesting -- you just have to get more sensitive to the little wiggles.

I really want to be able to meet you face-to-face one of these days! I keep wanting to get to a Bear Happy Hour, but I'm such a homebody...
Jun. 11th, 2004 09:23 am (UTC)
Rut, funk,etc,etc,etc. We all go thru these. There is more. Hills and valleys though. If the ruts can be likened to the valleys. HUZG man...And we all serve a purpose. Sometimes we don't see that purpose ourselves, but those around certainly do, whether they make us aware of it or not. You, I ,all of us are here for a reason. And I'm sure you touch lives every day. We all do. Some way, some how...it happens. Merely by being here and posting you are effecting others.. and in a good way!!!
Jun. 11th, 2004 11:51 am (UTC)
Re: Is that All there is
You need distraction. Do something spontaneous like jump on the motorcycle and drive to the border of Canada, then come back and stop in Burlington VT and enjoy the lake front.
( 5 comments — Leave a comment )

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