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What's missing?

I've been feeling pretty depressed for the past few weeks -- which some of my regular blog-readers might have noticed in the sharp drop-off in original material posted here. I have an "empty feeling" like something important in my life is missing. After some serious reflection and soul-searching, I think I know exactly what it is: Companionship of friends.

Allow me to clarify: I know I do have a lot of friends, but it seems that over the past ten years I noticed a serious drop-off in communication and social time with close friends that were on an "even keel" with my lifestyle.

What do I mean by an even keel? Well, it seems the people I hang out with nowadays simply don't have the same resources nor desire to travel and explore like I do. I'm talking about popping off for a weekend to New York, Club Run or mini-vacation. Basically, those that have the free time to travel don't have the cash to travel and those that have do have the cash don't have the time. Add into this mix that virtually everyone I meet online seems interested only in sex (not that that's an entirely bad thing, it's just kind of demeaning when it's the only thing.)

I love to travel, I love to explore and I love new experiences. From the e-mail I get, it's obvious that many people love reading about my travels and experiences, but from what I read between the lines, it seems many people are only living vicariously through my travels behind a computer monitor. It's sort of cool to live in the limelight of all the travel I do and all the things I experience, but it's become very lonely.

I am a very social creature. Now that I've been working from home for almost a year, I find myself becoming a "home body" (when not travelling), having no workmates to go to lunch with, socialize with, go to concerts or even to go to Fenway to catch a game! Don't get me wrong, working from home is awesome (if you have the discipline to do so) -- it's just another brick in the wall of loneliness.

Shortly after moving to Boston, I formed the Boston Bears. I missed the camaraderie and brotherhood I used to get from The Rochester Rams and had hoped that the Boston Bears would develop into an extended circle of friends -- sadly, this has not been the case. Yes, we've held barnights, happy hours, movie nights, even a (poorly attended) group trip to New York City -- but it seems that no one wants to life a finger to plan nor work on events -- many don't even choose to attend. Those that do attend Boston Bears functions tend to stick with local events only and prefer not to travel. I struggled to get four Boston Bears members to attend the Long Island Raven's run, where the four of us hosted a grand cocktail party. I haven't given up on the Boston Bears, but there are days...

Motor biking is another passion of mine. I started the Boston Gay Bikers (after enquiries to the Boston Riders went unreplied) -- after a year of trying to plan bike trips, to which no one but myself showed up to (everyone else who was interested wanted to be a "rider" not a "driver"), I threw in the towel on that idea.

I was involved with a support group in Boston for two years, to which we actually managed to have several planning meetings -- but when it was time to put things into effect, there were roadblocks and hassles all the way... I left that group in a fit of rage, as it was becoming obvious to me that no one wants to "do" anything -- well, except for drink and have sex. (Again, don't misunderstand me! When I travel, my evenings are full of bar-hopping and trysts! It's simply not normally the primary focus of my travels, it's just a side benefit!)

Well, as if I haven't learned my lesson yet, I'm once again trying to get a group off the ground -- this one is specifically for gay travel. The group is called MileageRunner. It's specifically designed to combine Mileage Running with gay travel (holidays, weekends, etc.) I have high hopes that the purpose of this new group will be clear enough to people that it's not about SEX. It's about gay men travelling together, exploring, experiencing other cultures and having new experiences.

Already on the books is: A trip to Portland, Oregon; a trip to Sint Maarten, and other things are in the works!

I sincerely hope that this group makes a good go of it, otherwise, I'm simply going to go offline, hang up my leathers and seek out other groups that meet in person. Maybe the "Greater Boston Business Council" would be a good start? I hear that a lot of well-to-do jet-setters are members.


( 10 comments — Leave a comment )
Aug. 1st, 2007 07:34 pm (UTC)
Duuuude.. Fenway! --> ME <-- call, I will be there! I just need to let mom know to watch Emily.

(actually do you think my fatass would fit in Fenway seats? I've heard they are squishy... hehe)

I know what you mean by lonely.
Aug. 1st, 2007 07:58 pm (UTC)

It's just a matter of getting tickets...

Do you have a source? (Damn, sounds like we're talking about a drug deal!)

Aug. 1st, 2007 08:24 pm (UTC)
on Sunday Aug 19 in Toronto is the Church Street Fetish Fair were i will be competing for North American Boot Black...i know you hate being the one to travell but Sir Iain, Sir Scott, and Sir Aarron will be there as well....just a suggestion Sir

Aug. 1st, 2007 08:35 pm (UTC)

I wish I knew about this BEFORE I booked tickets to Portland, OR that weekend.

Aug. 1st, 2007 08:46 pm (UTC)
OUCH...sorry HUGS you will have fun out there..and make sure you post it!!!!

HUGS (and i will owe you a shine ;-) )
Aug. 2nd, 2007 02:09 am (UTC)
Sort of sounds like a conversation we've had a few times before. As you already know, I have lived vicariously through your adventures for some time now. You know my restrictions and restraints; especially in the last 11-12 months along with the last 9 weeks just about being absolute show stoppers.
I do hope to be in the position one day to do some of the things you'd like to do and I really am hoping you still will want to do them.

Aug. 2nd, 2007 01:52 pm (UTC)

I'm not putting any blame on anyone -- people have to work, people have relationships, most of my friends are trying to pay off (or refinance) their mortgages (thanks to ARM and interest rates going up!)

I hope you're taking time to smell the roses -- life's not all about work.

Look Frick, they found your orange dress!! I thought you had burned that thing! http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=Q7ZRicXQ5-g
Aug. 2nd, 2007 11:26 pm (UTC)
That isn't THE ORANGE DRESS dearest but I think the film maker dated the princess that made it for a while. I see to remember about Princess keeping him in stitches but darn it if I can remember why they broke up. I thought they had the relationship sewn up.
Honest, only I know where that dress is and you can bet your sweet ass that it will never, ever, see the light of day again.

I'm sorry if you thought that I had somehow felt you were blaming people; believe me when I say it wasn't my intent. I can honestly say that I never thought life would deal the hand the way it has been lately. I have honestly come to believe that for each year you live, life become just a little be hard.
I'd like to stop and smell the roses but the electric bill, insurance bill, etc. etc. come first.
Take my word; I promise that a motorcycle for me again will become a reality and we'll have a weekend adventure somewhere that will leave the town's folk talking for years to come. In your case it should be easy........you learned from the best...........smooch.
Aug. 3rd, 2007 07:58 am (UTC)
My life never seems to afford much more than "armchair travel" - seeing places via DVD or online pics and stories by those who can.

There are others out there who can get away as you do, but I'm sure
it's hard to match someome with mutual interests and such.

One reason I am so depressed about the Rams Run (or lack thereof) this year, it was going to be my only weekend away all Summer.
Aug. 12th, 2007 02:20 am (UTC)
its hot -

have had pager Friday -
issues on Sat - but bought a kitchen floor
David Hasslehoff and Jack Daniels have already asked for it be part of a 3some

I have a long weekend coming in aug, but have pager duty - so s u c k s
( 10 comments — Leave a comment )

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