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Cleaning house and taking back my life!

This week has been a big one for cleaning my own electronic house! For the past twelve months, I've been politely asking people in my address book that were only listed by their e-mail address to provide me with some basic contact information, such as first and last name, a city and a country. Amazingly enough, no matter how nice you ask, even in this day and age some gay men take serious offence that you're asking them for their (shudder) real last name!! As if I was going to turn them in to the "gay police" for shipment to the gay internment camp!

Today was the deadline for replying and I punched up delete at 8 O'clock. It's a good feeling, and it feels just like when you clean out the attic and finally find yourself capable of tossing out boxes of things you've been hanging on to for years, but never had the heart to toss out. My address book is clean. Everyone has a first and last name now!

Now on to Phase III: Without hurting any feelings, find out who some of these people are! (I'm certain that this shall prove to be far more trickier than Phase II!)

I mean, how do you e-mail someone and say: "Pardon me, how exactly do we know each other?

Perhaps "tick-boxes" such as "Mutual shag", "Workmate", "Snogging at the club", "College Alumni", "Other ________" ?? Perhaps not... there are folks in my address book that are work contacts and there are personal contacts -- could lead to a lot of sexual harassment charges, eh? Well, I'll figure it out -- there's no rush.

I also shut down my public webcam, which I had been running since the late 90's. Simply put: I haven't been making any new contacts or having fun by keeping my private life online for the entire world to see anonymously. In addition, other webcammers I used to see online have also turned their cams off, or have moved -- yet I get over 10,000 hits a month to my cam! (It's such a one-way steet, that I've finally decided that it's just not fair for me to give, give, give and not be able to get a little from time to time!)

My webcam may be back online again at some point, but even when that day comes, people will need to register and get my permission to view it (I'm still looking for a reliable free service to host it!)

Am I sounding bitchy? I don't mean to be... It's just that I came to the realization last year that I need to focus on friends that I really know -- face to face or online does not matter, there just needs to be a 'real' connection.

One of the things that's been really tough on me has been deleting people I've known for many, many years that I considered them to be a friend. In a nutshell: They don't call, they don't write, and they don't reply to my e-mail nor Plaxo requests. Perhaps I might have an older e-mail address? Perhaps my messages are going to their "spam folder"? Or even sadder, they don't consider themselves to be a friend anymore and don't have the balls to say it to my face.

I have accumulated so many 'admirers' and 'groupies' online over the past few years (without them ever developing into true friendships) that extreme methods need to be employed to sort my real friends out. Removing the fanatics that simply want to be like me was phase I. Removing contacts for whom I don't know their full names was Phase II. Not it's on to Phase III...

Today's song is Tonic - If You Could Only See

Did you know that from July 1998 through December 2005, People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) killed over 14,400 dogs, cats, and other "companion animals." That's more than five defenceless creatures every day. PETA has a walk-in freezer to store the dead bodies, and contracts with a Virginia Beach company to cremate them.

Not counting the pets PETA spayed and neutered, the group put to death over 90 percent of the animals it took in during 2005. And its angel-of-death pattern shows no sign of changing.
> read more

Thanks to raindog469 for pointing this atrocity out to me!



( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
Mar. 5th, 2007 04:02 pm (UTC)
Aw man!!! I liked popping on every now and then and peeking in on you. :)

Usually it was just you chillin' watching tv or sitting at the comp.
(Just got the one butt shot... highlight of my evening.) ;) Hee!
Mar. 5th, 2007 04:23 pm (UTC)

Wow! If that was a 'highlight' for your evening, we need to get you out more often! ;-)

I'm still online, but my webcam isn't. :-(

It used to be fun, but it's turned more into an invasion of privacy on many levels. I could see IP addresses of people connecting, but an IP does not tell me who they are!

When you start seeing nine-dot addresses in the log file (IBM owns the entire 9.x.x.x Class-A IP range), I got nervous.

Mar. 5th, 2007 04:28 pm (UTC)
Oh yeah... I went from just over 2,000 address book contacts to only 487 contacts as of 1 March 2007!

I deleted a lot of people I didn't hear from much (if at all), as well as people that I had NO personal information beyond their e-mail address and their alleged real name. No address, city, state, country, telephone, etc.

My address book now contains only people I know (or think I know!) It was a serious house-cleaning!! It needed to be done.

I hate deleting people that I'm not sure I know or not, but after 12 months in my address book, and no replies to queries means: Do I really WANT to know people that don't reply?

Mar. 16th, 2007 03:31 pm (UTC)
Hey Sweetie!

It feels good to de-clutter doesn't it! I have done a bit of that lately myself. Deleting files and cleaning up the hard drive.

I hadn't looked lately at your cam...been busy in Louisiana the last two months. But I would have gladly shared my cam with you...although I doubt there is anything there you'd want to see! :) Well, except maybe Michael...he is uncut and spectacular! Although, he is way too shy to go on cam with me anyway.

Anywhoo...I have work to do...

Kisses and Hugs!

PS: I am heading to Ra-cha-cha April 18th so TeeJay can do my next tattoo.

I will only be there for a short time. Maybe two days.
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )

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