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A history of my relationships...

My "gay married" life began around March of 1986, after coming out of the closet to myself just about a year prior. I mean, I always knew I prefered men, but I never considered myself "gay", because I had no interest in wearing women's clothing, or speaking with a lisp! Of course, I believed this, as the only role models gay men had back then was "Jack Tripper" from "Three's Company"/"Three's a Crowd", and Joey from "Soap." Someone jokingly gave me a copy of The Empty Closet, the local gay newspaper, at my workplace WEZO/WNYR radio -- little did they know I'd keep it and read it cover to cover in the privacy of my first apartment. I found an advert for the Gay Alliance's "Coffee House", which seemed a good neutral place to meet other gay men in a social environment. They were weekly get-togethers. The second time I went to the Coffee House gatherings, I met Ray Y., who was to become my first lover. We were together from 1986 to 1987. I changed also changed jobs during this period from commercial radio, over to E.A.S. (Electronic Accounting Services), working on a older Honeywell mainframe and a Nixdorf mini-computer (sort of the precursor for the IBM AS/400), and then over to Eastman Kodak in their CIS-CTS department (Corporate Information Services/Computers and Telephony Systems.)

In 1987, I left Spearhead and Trident International and joined the Rochester Rams, M.C. (now that I was 21, the minimium age to join the Rams.) On December 4th 1987, I met the man who was to be my second lover, Robin (Rod) W. at The Toolbox (the original leather bar in Toronto.) Rod and I were also together for one year, before parting ways. Eastman Kodak was about to "outsource", a new word back then, their I.T. department to IBM. None of us liked the idea... I left Kodak before the cut-over, and joined forces with Walt Dyer (whom many believe was a lover of mine, but he wasn't -- we were just business partners! Walt and I opened Rochester Custom Leathers on 29 July 1989 (yes, on my 23rd birthday!)

I met Val S., my third lover at the Philadelphian's Tri Cen run (New Year's weekend) in Philadelphia, PA. December 1990. Val and I got together in an interesting way -- simply as a trist, next I knew, he was moving in to my home and his camper to the new local gay campground, Jones Pond. Val became very involved with my work with Multicom-4, a gay, lesbian and bisexual Bulletin Board System (precursor to the internet) I had been running since 1979, which really took off in 1989/1990 when we went multi-line. We hosted Multicom-4 parties at local gay bars, set up public access terminals and even held a Multicom-4 Award Cerimony with serious and silly awards! Sadly, it was also Multicom-4 that caused our break-up in 1992. A member, by the handle "Gumby2" was playing Galactic Empire, and Val, known as "Puppy" on MC4 was losing to him... Val asked me to delete his account. Being the system administrator, doing this as a favour for someone, even though I loved them, went against my code of ethics with running the BBS. Val was hurt and literally packed up and left.

Later in 1991, I met Alex J., my forth lover -- and my second Canadian lover at the Spearhead Run. Alex lived in Ottawa, Ontario. Alex and I were together for many years -- and he was the furthest long-distance relationship I had, which was the main reason why we ended up calling it quits in 1999. Alex was very interested in R.C.L. and Multicom-4, and was amazed by the businesses I ran and my associations with the gay and leather communities. Alex was a lot like me, we even looked alike! Alex even started his own BBS, Menage BBS in Ottawa, based on the Multicom-4 BBS software! Alex was always involved with politics, which always impressed me.

In 1999, John I. and I became lovers -- it was a wild, passionate and amazing expereince, but things really fell apart in 2002 and we split up in 2003, and I moved to Boston.

And finially, in 2005, Dave became my newest -- but you've been reading about him and me here on my blog for over a year now!




Comments

( 5 comments — Leave a comment )
(Anonymous)
May. 29th, 2006 02:32 am (UTC)
I have been thinking about my past relationships
Recently broke up from a short term relationship and am reminiscing too. I'm trying to figure out exactly what I've learned. A lot for sure, but I am focusing on how I am when I am in a relationship. Last Fall I read Dorthee Solle book "Creative Disobedience" and saw Brokeback and Rent all within one month. There are many common themes between them. Most of all Embrace life and be true to yourself, and meet the world as yourself.

I sure do miss those trips down to Rochester. It was one of the best part of my life.

Alex J
mc4bbs
May. 29th, 2006 01:24 pm (UTC)
Re: I have been thinking about my past relationships
Recently broke up from a short term relationship and am reminiscing too. I'm trying to figure out exactly what I've learned. A lot for sure, but I am focusing on how I am when I am in a relationship. Last Fall I read Dorthee Solle book "Creative Disobedience" and saw Brokeback and Rent all within one month. There are many common themes between them. Most of all Embrace life and be true to yourself, and meet the world as yourself.

I sure do miss those trips down to Rochester. It was one of the best part of my life.


Well, I really loved living in Ottawa with you! You got me more involved in politics than I ever thought I ever would be! You know that I've got an anti-circumcision bill coming before the Senate in Massachusettes now? I've lobbied for many other issues at our State House as well!

You know I've still got a local Ottawa phone number, an you can call me anytime you want!!! I enjoy our conversations, and even moreso, when they're on the couch while something silly is on the tele! (Puppets with Guns, Kids in the Hall, Red Green, etc.) ;-)

Thanks for posting to my blog!

cowfusior
May. 30th, 2006 04:48 pm (UTC)
I left Kodak before the cut-over, and joined forces with Walt Dyer (whom many believe was a lover of mine, but he wasn't -- we were just business partners!

Heh... well, you both shared a very close relationship even if you weren't. Closer than your standard friendship/working relationship by far! Count me amongst the legion that didn't quite know *what* to make of that whole thing. ;)
mc4bbs
May. 30th, 2006 05:27 pm (UTC)

Heh... well, you both shared a very close relationship even if you weren't. Closer than your standard friendship/working relationship by far! Count me amongst the legion that didn't quite know *what* to make of that whole thing. ;)

Oh, there's no doubt that our relationship went well beyond friendship, and we love each other, but it was more of a "brotherly love" than "sexual love" -- we chat often, and we would always be there for each other in a crisis.

I guess it's not too odd a relationship when you consider the "Old School" leather clubs had friendships like this also... Very tight, but not sexual.

loxie
May. 31st, 2006 01:30 am (UTC)
But.. in 1999 you met me :) I guess I was part of that crazy time. Oh how I miss it. Even if I never truly let go as some like to say. I had much fun!

I missus you.
( 5 comments — Leave a comment )

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