A NEW HOLIDAY
Every 14th of February you get the chance to display your fondness for your wife or girlfriend by showering her with gifts, flowers, dinner, shows and any other baubles that women find romantic.
Secret...guys feel left out. That's right...left out. There's no special holiday for the ladies to show their appreciation for the men in their life. Men as a whole are either too proud or just too embarrassed to admit it. Which is why a new holiday has been created.
March 20th is now officially "Steak & Blowjob Day."
Simple, effective and self-explanatory...this holiday has been created so your ladies can have a day to show your man just how much you love him. No cards, no flowers, no special nights on the town-the name of the holiday explains it all...just a steak and a BJ. That's it.
This twin pairing of Valentine's Day and Steak & Blowjob Day will usher in a new age of love as men everywhere will try THAT much harder in February to ensure a more memorable March! It's like perpetual love machine.
The word is already spreading, but as with any new idea, it needs a little push to start the ball rolling. So spread the word, and help bring love and peace to this crazy world.
Now why something this heterocentric got sent to an LGBT nonprofit is beyond me, but I'm all for more blowjobs. You gotta hold onto something in this crazy world, and it might as well be a weiner, right? So I'm giving Steak and Blowjob day an official Uffish Thoughts endorsement. Vegetarian men can have Tofu and Blowjob day if they'd prefer. Whatever blows your skirts up. I'm marking my calendar!
He's finished his steak, now why do you suppose he's smiling? ;-)